My greatest insecurity

The way I measure my self-worth is also the way I measure the worth of others.

I have a confession to make.

My greatest insecurity is the amount of my monthly pay check. I know it’s more than enough for the daily needs of our growing family, but it’s not the amount I saw myself earning almost eight years after graduating from college.

Lately, I have been becoming more grateful for having enough. But, there are still times when I get insecure. There are still times when I measure my self-worth based on how much I earn.

As Jesus tells His disciples in today’s Gospel reading:

“For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you." — Luke 6:38

Truly, the way I measure my self-worth is also the way I measure the worth of others. In short, I also see others based on how much (I think) they earn.

This also means that while I feel inferior to those whom I think are earning more than I do, I also feel superior to those whom I think are earning less. I may not show it, but in my mind and in my heart, I have become judgmental.

I am still a work in progress. But, this is one of those things that I really struggle with.

Today, my prayer is for me to once see my worth as God’s child. Because only then can I also see the worth of others as God’s children. Only then can I truly treat and love others equally.

How about you? Do you also struggle with this?

 

P.S. I heard in a podcast that when she was still living, St. Teresa of Calcutta made presidents and powerful men wait while she took care of the sick and the poor. She would also spend time and listen to the poor the same way she would spend time and listen to powerful men and world leaders. All because she truly saw Jesus in everyone.