Whenever I surf the internet, I never fail to log in to Facebook. I’m addicted to scrolling down my news’ feed. I keep on scrolling down as if I’m searching for something, but I’m really not. I only stop when I see a friend’s post that makes me envious or insecure.
The good thing is that it propels me into action. But the bad thing is, I will be taking action for the wrong reason — my insecurity.
Growing up, I did almost everything for the wrong reason. I studied hard not to learn but to make my parents proud of me, to make my teachers praise me, to make my classmates worship me, and to make the girls adore me. I used to play sports not because it was fun but to show off. Later on, I went to university and chose a course because it (almost) guaranteed getting a high-paying job, not because I wanted to learn the course. I was also a student leader to make myself marketable to companies, not because I wanted to serve the organization.
Growing up, I was doing everything for the glory of success. That’s why when my world fell apart three years ago, I didn’t know what I was living for. Long story short, my world fell apart when I experienced failure for the first time in my life — I got rejected by more than seven companies when I was applying for a job.
I didn’t know who I was without other people’s praises and acceptance. I didn’t know who I was without other people's approval. I didn't know what I was passionate about because all I wanted to do was to show off. I grew up doing things because of my pride and ego.
I basked in the praises of people until I experienced my first failures. The rewards of doing things for the wrong reasons did not last forever. They were temporary.
But, I’m glad I experienced failure early on because I learned to do things for the right reasons. I learned to do things for growth, simply for the joy of doing things, and for love. I finally learned to enjoy what I am doing. And the rewards of doing things for the right reasons last forever.
You can take away my money, you can take away my good image, you can take away my pride, but you can never take away how much I’ve grown as a person, my fulfilment, my happiness, my security, and my love for what I’m doing.
Honestly, I don’t really know where this blog will lead to. Will this be my full time job or business in the future? I don’t know. I sure hope so. But if not, I still have a job that sustains me. And, I just love blogging.
As you start this week, try to think about why you are doing what you are doing now. Are you doing it for the right reasons? Find the right reasons and you will be happy...forever.
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and decay destroy, and thieves break in and steal. But store up treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal.”
— Matthew 6: 19-20