Yes, love is a decision.
Love is a choice.
Love is not something external.
Yet, sometimes, you feel as if you have no more love to give. You feel as if you have given all the love you can give.
Is it because your love is not enough? Is it your fault for not being committed? Is it because you cannot stick to your decisions, to your choices?
“You cannot give what you do not have.” — Bro. Bo Sanchez
I like Bro. Bo’s concept of love tanks. As you give love, your love tank gets depleted. So, you have to constantly fill your love tank with… love.
For the past few weeks, I noticed that I have been easily irritated and overly sensitive (again). It’s like Carlo Cruz version 2011 to 2013 (the darkest years of my life) again. I easily lose my temper, get jealous, or get envious. Just ask the people closest to me.
I asked myself, “Why am I back to who I was two years ago? I thought there’s no more turning back?”
I realized that for the past few months, I haven’t created an environment where I can love myself more. “You cannot give what you do not have.” If you don’t love yourself, how can you love others? How can others love you?
I haven’t been able to create an environment where I can accept the love of God because I haven’t been able to stick with my daily appointment with Him. I haven’t been able to make Him my top priority. He doesn’t require it, but I really need it.
Sadly, I also haven’t even been able to create an environment where I can be creative. I hope you didn’t notice, but I feel that there is a dip in the quality of my blog posts recently. All because I haven’t been reading a lot lately.
That’s why I’m slowly building a bridge and creating an environment where I can love myself by doing work that I love. Yes, I’m quitting my day job soon to pursue the work that I love, to express myself more, to learn more, and to grow more. I’m trying to slowly get back to my habit of making God my top priority everyday—by waking up early. All so I can love others more—my family, the people around me, my readers, my subscribers, my customers and clients, and, yes, you.
When you have no more love to give, it’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself. But, you can do something about it. Create an environment where you can accept love (from God and from yourself). Later on, you can give more love. Making the decision and the choice to love will be easier. Much easier.