Every Sunday, I take a break from writing about doing work that matters. Instead, I write about my imperfect understanding of God’s perfect love as my personal mission to spread His word and His love and to make a difference. You can read more Mission posts here.
Yesterday, feeling very discouraged with my plans, I thought I felt “tired” from believing, from trusting, and from having faith. I felt tempted to ask God for a sign that everything will be okay.
Worse, I felt tempted to ask God for a sign of His existence.
While kneeling down at the side of my bed and praying, I fell asleep. I slept for an hour or so. That was one of the best sleeps I had for a while.
When I woke up, I realized that God doesn’t want to give us a sign because He wants us to believe in Him fully. He wants us to believe even without seeing.
If God gives you a sign, wouldn’t that take a little bit of faith from you? Wouldn’t you believe because you’ve seen His sign and not because of your own faith, not because you simply believe in Him?
If God gives you a glimpse of the future, where everything goes your way, wouldn’t that take some of the joy out of the journey? When I look back at my achievements, the most fulfilling were the ones that involved overcoming doubts and struggles. Without the doubts and uncertainties, there would be no tension. Without the tension, there would be no growth and a little less joy and fulfillment in the process of success.
If God gives you a sign of His existence, wouldn’t that take away some of your free will? Wouldn’t you believe in God and follow Him because you have seen Him and not because you freely choose to believe Him? God loves us so much to take away our free will. He wants us to love Him freely and He wants us to experience His love fully—by having our free will intact.
I think there are signs all around us. Just the fact that we are still alive is already a sign of His mercy, goodness, and existence. We don’t need supernatural signs for us to believe in Him and in the brightness of our future. His grace is sufficient for us.
Also, moments of doubt and uncertainty are opportunities for us to strengthen our faith and our belief in God, in ourselves, and in the dreams He planted in our hearts.
The Pharisees and Sadducees came and, to test Jesus, asked him to show them a sign from heaven. He said to them in reply, “In the evening you say, ‘Tomorrow will be fair, for the sky is red’; and, in the morning, ‘Today will be stormy, for the sky is red and threatening.’ You know how to judge the appearance of the sky, but you cannot judge the signs of the times. An evil and unfaithful generation seeks a sign, but no sign will be given it except the sign of Jonah.” Then he left them and went away. — Matthew 16:1-4