I usually write my blog posts and draw the accompanying illustrations the day before I publish them.
But, yesterday, I felt so uninspired to write. I knew what I was supposed to write, but I couldn’t get myself to write it.
I doubted what I was writing.
Worse, I doubted myself. I doubted my voice. I doubted my dream of becoming a full-time writer.
Until now, I’m still feeling the same fear.
I’m afraid to be found out.
What if you found out how much (or how little) I’m making from writing?
What if you found out how many (or how few) my readers and subscribers are?
What if you found out who I really am?
Would you still believe what I’m writing? Would you still believe me?
I’m afraid of not finding my voice… ever.
I'm afraid of never finding what I should blog or write about.
I’m afraid of not being original.
I’m afraid of not connecting to other people's souls.
I’m afraid of not adding value.
I'm afraid of not being good enough—of not being enough.
I’m afraid of failing… again.
So, I decided to set aside all my projects (for now) and face my first fear: the fear of being found out.
Starting tomorrow, I’ll be sharing with you the story of my life so far and how life brought me where I am.
Honestly, I want to find out why I’m on this path as well. I thought I knew. But, doubts have clouded my mind.
But, by doing this, you’ll know where I am. You'll know who I am. I will no longer be afraid of being found out.
I don’t know how long it will take for me to write all my experiences. A day? Two days? Three days? One week? One month?
I don’t know. And I don’t care. I just want to face my fear. I just want to write.
And I just want to be myself.
Will you still be with me? If yes, thank you. If not, thanks as well for being there and hearing me blab even just for a while.
As always, know that I’m praying for you. The journey to finding my voice begins.